Gryffen

Ok - Gryffen is not impressed!!!!!!

After 4+ days of torrential rain and wind - which is always fun to pitch tents in - im exhausted!!!

The party was a blast - extra hour to boogy as our clocks went back an hour due to daylight savings - what a con that is btw!

Was out trying to clear the damage in the backgarden today - aint pretty as its a disaster zone over here due to the weather!!!

I have meetings all this week - its going to kill me as i keep dosing off on a monday morning if i havent had coffee - someone please help me!!

This is ThinkGeek [url]http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/[/url]

Once every 2 months one of my 'contacts' sends me my supply of caffine etc - she is away on tour at the moment so i am down to my last tin of Bawls mints!!

I am begging someone to help me here as due to the laws -  i cannot get them straight from the supplier. What we had to do was get them to Helena and then she shipped them to me by airmail/UPS.

If anyone is willing to help me this month - lemme know and we can arrange it - it would be very much appreciated!!

Anyhoo - hubby calling - rawr!!!!

I have done absoutely nothing today!!!

I slept until noon - had a long hot roasted shower with a big hairy spider (not good!) and then walked the dog for a couple of hours!

I had planned to get some stress relief today by playing this MMPORG ive been playing for a few years on/off - anyone who has been shot numerous times will understand boredom!!!!

FlyFF (Fly For Fun) is this daft online game that is actually quite entertaining - its my stress relief to run about killing creatures as a mercenary - i know im troubled!

Unfortunatly its servers are kaput at the moment and have bee down since wednesday night - thousands of people are in the middle of withdrawl!

So - after cooking dinner, cleaning up, having a glass of wine - i was happy to sit down, continue knitting my scarf (check the weather for Glasgow!) and then watch Equilibrium - very cool film which could come true in a century or so!

Tomorrow morning i go and get my costume for the party - soooooooooooooooooooooooo looking forward to this all week!!!

Pictures upcoming and if my head does a weirdturn then ill continue the story - anyone enjoy it?

Samhain festival next week - looking forward to it!!!!

We have a party on saturday - both of us are dressing up - pictures will be on soon after lol

Its been an interesting week so far - hectic as usual but there has been a great buzz about the place this week - probably something to do with Ewan McGregor being spotted!

I dont know who has pissed off the guy upstairs but by f**king god has it rained today - i love the rain - love to dance in the puddles - but not always fun on manouvers!!

Heading to Faslane tomorrow then along to Erskine - off the weekend then back for 10 days straight (apart from Friday night).

Hows everyone else been these days??????

PS - need someones help with a delivery - i cant get them delivered here direct due to the embargo - anyone up for skullduggery???

I have never been one for keeping a journal - i have a bebo page - im hardly ever on it!

Jim offered me this blog and im loving it - although im guessing people find me incredibly boring - or horribly weird - wouldnt suprise me to be honest!

Everyday i have jotted down my random thoughts, my hearts secrets and my pain - isnt that what a blog is - to relieve yourself of a long carried burden?

I got a message from a friend who looked at my blog - they thought it needed fancy letters - fancy headers and designs - not for me missy!

My blog is my way of explaining me. Not many people know me in this world. They may know a name on combat gear administering medical aid - they may know a flicker of a face when im evac'ing them to safety - they may just remember my voice.

For their benefit, iim a simple gal.

So for that i leave my blog fairly basic - as it represents me.

No frills

No commitment to designs

What you see is what you get with me - i dont have time for games.

As someone famous said - I am that I am.

It was 6 years ago today that i first met a man who taught me a lot about life, pain, sacrifice and respect.

I was 19yrs old - still scruffy around the ears and newly initiated into the main stream armylife - before i was a trainee medic within the Territorial Army.

We began talking, he was my inspiration to better myself, to gain more confidence in my abilities and my ability to command in a situation. He taught me the old rules of respect, honour and intergrity. He taught me the code of living to the extremes while expanding my knowledge. He made me hate myself less.

Several months later, after a horrific tour ended up with me recieving serious injuries to my upper torso and dying several times - he sent me a large package - a comfort box as he called it - something that i have cherished even to this day. He sent me a pillow with a woven lace cover, a letter which came from the heart and a stack of CD's from a band i had never heard of.

Type O Negative

He told me the order to listen to them in. He told me some of the songs reminded me him of the times we shared. The times we cherished online talking to each other - even talking for a moment with his son. He was seperated, painfully from what i saw in his eyes - but he has a full life doing what he does best - as a protector of his people.

I used the knowledge and music he had given me during my campaigns - i sent him back items which called to me to give to him from our homeland - he loved them - i loved him.

I betrayed him - he was so angry out of fear and how i could be such an idiot to try and kill myself.

I was having a very bad experience during that time -unknownst to me, so was a common friend - we were idiots.

I healed. I grew strong - i put my life first and i grew up mentally, emotionally and i am still on this journey.

It is two years tomorrow since i have heard from him. He was called out one night from his work - he let me know he was going away - i wished him well and hoped he would come home soon.

I miss him. I do not know if he is alive or dead - either way i hope he has peace of mind and spirit.

I will never stop loving him - my husband knows as i told him honestly - it was never a physical romance - but it was so painful - it was if i had lost part of my soul.

My soulmate is Paul - i will never leave him, but i only hope that the gods grant our souls another chance in another life - i could not bear the pain again.

Last tueday i was cooking dinner and i got splattered in the eye with some cool oil and a mix of spices - i washed my eye out but after some considerable discomfort i went to the optician and found that i had given myself an infection cause by the spices etc.

Not impressed - but easily treatable!

So - two squirmy hours later he had scraped my eyeball with what felt like wirewool and i look like i have demoneye!!! - should be fun!

Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day today - got in about 7pm - been on mobile catching up with everything so hence the post went funny earlier!

Ive been given three days leave - thank god - my laptop is driving me nuts at the moment and i cant figure out what is wrong - Jim - your probably going to get a plea for help soon!!

Anyone have plans for All hallows eve?

Ok ok ok - so yes, i have done over 350hrs at work within the last 4 weeks but it was a necessary evil = Neccsary for training and Evil for the brutal workload landed on me!!!

We went to mass this morning, all good no problems - been ordered to bring the photos of Fatima on tueday- but good to see everyone again.

Got home, cleaned up. both of us fell asleep for a couple of hours = VERY GRUMPY PEOPLE!

All we have done since waking up is eat, yawn and grump about something - never good as i have a 5am start tomorrow and im on call......grrrrrrrrrrr.

Decided to start writing again yesterday out of the blue - that explains the weird and wacky post yesterday - it litterly just popped into my head and i began typing it up at warp speed!

OMG!!!! Im out of IrnBru as well - WTF!!!

Great!

No caffine = grumpy gryffen with a sugar slump and restless!

And another thing! - WTF is everyone on this board??

I know we have lives but come one - Axcess needs support - hell i need support - *rants and raves*

WTF

*groans*

Wow - what a night that was!!!

In aid of the hospice we had a ladies night at a local club and, apart from the cheap booze, we danced like crazy - raffles, bingo and everything going like crazy!!

So happy to be involved, ok i just turned up after a 19hr shift - but it was a great night out!

Thankfully had a word back from my friend, he is okish - tired but alive,

Oh - we came back from Praia de Rocha a couple of weeks ago - i love Portugal, very beautiful country - determined to find you Mr.Com!!!

While we were there, we got upto Fatima for a tour and i fell in love with it. I am not catholic (although i am going through the RCIA) it brought me to tears at one point - almost

like a surge of awe - pretty unusual for me - but welcome to show i wasn't as cold as some people say if they knew me on tours. (another long story for a blog)

I'll get the pics up one day - if you have been to either Lourdes or Fatima - its said to be like a presence..i agree.

We do have a free holiday next year though so we are going back to Abuifiera for a week and hopefully i can get hubby to Seville again to see the Lisbon Lion stadium (he is celtic daft!)

All good - pancakes are made - coffee in the pot - computer is kinda working now (Jim your services maybe required later!) and im shattered

I woke up this morning at work - yes - i have been that busy recently i dosed off around 12ish today in my office - thankfully during lunchtime so i claimed a power nap! *grins*

I had a meeting with my CO at 2pm to go over the recruits medicals and so forth so i headed off to get organised and i felt quite sore.....this is where it gets weird!

Still no word from my friend yet, getting a little concerned now, might need to places calls soon.

Yep - found the cause of scratches - not amused!

Somtimes life just comes and bites you in the ass for no reason - this happened to me last night!

I was just in the door, had put on the laptop and swapped from MSN on the blackberry to the computer one - my friend beeped me up and asked a question.

Simple answer, i had just got home with Paul, signed in on myaxcess and had no idea what he was on about.

He reminded me about the link he sent to his blog, i went on it from the saved conversation we had a couple of days previous and i was like wtf?

Apart from getting a strange vibe from the tone of the message, i feel my friend questioned me.

I dont blame him, i would do the same thing - but after recent events, and my BIG dislike of mind games, i repeated my honest answer that i did not post it.

Suddenly he goes offline.

I feel sad, alone in some cases as i feel as if whoever posted that comment is f**king about with us : but how do they both know him and me, i rarely give my MSN details out.

I had a suspicion from work, i was right today, i checked my office and they had seen one of the guys go in and use my computer.

Its dealt with, i dont have to prove it wasnt me as if my friend truely believes me, he would know i would never play mind games.

Its his choice to come back, i hope he does and that moronic asswipe of a trickster hasnt ruined a returning friendship.

Damn him.